


come back to us

by TFLatte



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Found Family, Gen, Possessed Character, The Power Of Love, no wait listen just trust me okay i know what i'm doing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-15
Updated: 2017-02-15
Packaged: 2018-09-24 15:56:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,114
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9769295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFLatte/pseuds/TFLatte
Summary: The worst enemies are the ones you never thought were enemies.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I had a thought yesterday and even though I shared it with the discord chat I couldn't get rid of it. So I wrote my first TAZ fic.
> 
> There are two natural 20s rolled in this story.

It’s funny, when they think about it. The trip to retrieve the last Grand Relic, the Arcane Amulet, doesn’t include any hilarious antics (well, no more antics than usual with Tres Horny Boys on the job). Just a straight dungeon-crawl, a lot like their first relic-related quest, if a lot harder.

So, given the complete fucking mess they made of that one, they probably should have expected this one to go even worse.

When they finally reach the central chamber, the door swings open onto a wide room with a pedestal in the middle, lit by glowing runes inscribed onto every inch of it – which means they can see immediately that there’s no amulet there. If there’s an illusion hiding it, it doesn’t show up when Taako casts Detect Magic, and if it somehow fell off the pedestal it’s nowhere to be found now.

Merle is reaching for his Stone of Farspeech when behind the group, someone clears their throat. All three of them whip around, weapons ready, then freeze.

“Hello, sirs.” Angus is standing in the doorway, wand in hand.

“ _Angus_?” Merle scowls. “The hell are you doing here? And how are you not dead? We had to kill about a thousand monsters just to get here.”

“Oh, that was easy, I just followed you! The three of you did a great job clearing the way, and it wasn’t very hard to sneak past you when you got close enough to here.” Angus smiles. It doesn’t reach his eyes. “Actually, I have a question for you. It’s important, you see.”

“What, now? Listen, Ango, this isn’t-“Taako trails off as a glint in Angus’ other hand catches his eye. There’s a chain, intricate and gold, hanging from it, and in his palm-

“It’s _very_ important, actually. So you can just answer it, and then we can get back to business.”

“Angus…”Magnus has noticed too, and his gaze keeps moving between Angus’ face and his hand.

“Why did I come live on the moon, sirs?”

Magnus blinks. “Because…the Bureau hired you?”

“You were getting too nosy,” adds Merle, and Magnus shoots him a glare. Merle follows his gaze to Angus’ hand and goes very still.

“I knew that was going to be your answer.” Angus sighs. “None of you ask the right questions, do you? It’s why you’re not very good detectives. I’m eleven years old. Didn’t you ever wonder why I agreed to leave the planet for somewhere full of strangers? Didn’t you ever think that was strange?”

“Okay, Angus, you’re right, that is weird.” Magnus’ tone is gentle bordering on cautious, like he’s speaking to a dog that might bite. As he does, Taako casts an invisible Mage Hand above Angus and activates the Ring of Projected Thought.

“Just keep him talking, I got this.” Angus can’t use the amulet if he isn’t holding it, so as long as he gets it away from the kid everything will be fine.

“Why did you agree to leave Faerun, then?” Magnus asks. Taako inches the hand closer. He can’t miss, he won’t have a second chance at this-

Angus closes his hand tight over the Amulet and shakes his head. “You’re only asking now because you’re afraid. Which I think might be the smartest thing you’ve ever done.” He smiles again. “And I know what it looks like when you cast Mage Hand, Taako, remember?” Taako makes a grab for the Amulet, but Angus snatches it out of the way. He slips it over his head and Taako’s Mage Hand is gone. Angus straightens his glasses, blinking. “Oh, that feels strange.”

Magnus lunges forward, sprinting towards Angus. Angus lifts his free hand and screws up his face, the same look he gets in all his magic lessons when he tries to cast. The Arcane Amulet begins to glow bright, blinding white, and a fireball appears in his hand, bigger than even Taako could produce, and his expression turns to childish delight as he rears back and throws it straight at Magnus. The throw is clumsy – Angus doesn’t exactly spend his time playing ball – but Magnus is a big target, and close. The spell shouldn’t have any force behind it, but it still somehow sends Magnus reeling, slapping at the flames, and Angus looks at his hand in awe.

“Alright, you little brat, you’ll thank me for this later.” Merle lifts the X-treme Teen Bible and casts Banishment.

Nothing happens. Taako, dread pooling in his stomach, points the Umbra Staff and casts it himself. Still nothing.

Angus shakes his head, tapping the Amulet. “That won’t work. I can resist anything you throw at me. And look!” He casts his own Mage Hand and seizes the book out of Merle’s hands, tossing it across the room. “It’s really too bad I didn’t have time to learn more spells, but this should work for today.”

Magnus starts moving in closer, and Angus starts another fireball, glaring. Magnus winces, switching his belt to fire resistance. “Angus, listen to me, the amulet’s controlling you, we can-“

“No! It’s not!” Angus suddenly stomps his foot, jabbing his wand at all three of them. “You don’t know anything! You’re not heroes, you’re just bullies! I always try to be nice and help you and all you do is make fun of me!” He flings the next fireball at Merle. “I thought if I had grownups for friends they’d be better, but you’re not!”

“Angus, Angus take it easy, we can talk this out-“Taako tries Otiluke’s Resilient Sphere, to no effect.

“Stop it!” Angus rounds on him and Taako has just enough time to see another Mage Hand, this one a fist, before it pops him right in the chest and he sprawls on the ground. “Why should I talk to you? You don’t listen! You just think I’m a stupid joke until you need something from me!”

Merle pushes himself to his feet, reaching for his hammer. “You know, guys,” he mutters, “I think we might have fucked up.”

Magnus snorts. “Yeah. I think I would’ve preferred it if the final boss _was_ the Director.”

“Don’t jinx us.”

Merle and Magnus both charge at the same time, Merle on Angus’ right and Magnus on his left. Angus hurls another fireball at Merle, then a second, concentrating so hard his tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth. Magnus seizes the opportunity and gets in close, rears back with the Phantom Fist – and hesitates looking down at Angus, just long enough to catch a spectral hand in the jaw and go flying.

Angus strolls across the stone floor, adjusting his glasses as he approaches Taako. “That’s funny, Taako, I thought you said you would strike me down if I ever became a better wizard than you. I don’t remember siphoning away any of your powers, where’s all that cunning and arcana you should be summoning?” He smiles, all round cheeks and gap teeth as he twirls the cheap wand in his hand. “Maybe you should have thought twice about challenging _my_ power.”

The Umbra Staff is useless. Not that it matters – Taako has plenty of spells at his disposal, but none of them prepared for the mission with subduing a relic-crazy eleven-year-old in mind. So he forces his feet under him (at least he’s still taller than the kid) and glances at Merle and Magnus before looking back at Angus. The Amulet’s glow is getting brighter and brighter, so white he can barely see Angus’ face anymore.

He tosses the Umbra Staff aside.

Angus stops, and behind the glow he blinks, brow furrowing.

“Angus…you’re right.”

“What?”

“You’re right. We’ve been total dicks to you.” The light hurts his eyes but Taako doesn’t look away. “Like, we’re dicks all the time, to everyone, but still.” Angus squints suspiciously at him but there’s no more fire or relic-enhanced fists coming his way, so Taako presses on. “I totally get that you’re mad, you should be, but-“He hesitates. This isn’t his forte even when the stakes don’t involve being murdered by an angry child. "But we're sorry." A clatter draws his and Angus’ attention, and both look to see Magnus, with Railsplitter and Phantom Fist on the floor at his feet.

Magnus steps over them, watching Angus. “We took it too far. You’re like family to us, Angus. You know that, right? We all love you.”

Merle sighs and drops the hammer on the floor too. “Yeah, alright, it's true. I mean, you hang out with my kids.”

The glow is fading, and Angus’ face is becoming clearer. His eyes are wide, smile gone as his gaze darts between the three of them. “I…I don’t-“

“Angus. Hey.” Taako reaches out to him. “You’re probably the smartest person any of us know. Hell, you’re definitely smarter than us.” He winks, and when a tiny flicker of a smile crosses Angus’ face his voice grows just a bit more confident. “Also a better person. Honestly if I were you I’d probably have just snapped ages ago, but it took a whole Grand Relic to get to you, huh?” He crouches down onto Angus’ level. “But you need to come back to us. I know what it feels like but if you don’t come back now, you never will.” He holds out a hand. “Come on, little man. I know you’ve got it in you.” Magnus and Merle are silent as they watch. None of them need to guess what the others are thinking. If Angus won’t – or can’t – listen…

Angus bites his lip, trembling slightly – then, in a sudden burst of motion that makes all three men flinch, he seizes the Arcane Amulet and yanks it over his head, flinging it away to skid across the floor into the wall. His face crumples and he hurls himself into Taako’s arms.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I just- I couldn’t help you get the stone or the chalice and then you had to get the bell and I couldn’t help you with that and you all came back hurt and I thought if I was here I could help you and it was talking to me-“

“Hey, hey, shh-“Taako hesitates, shooting a panicked look at Magnus and Merle. Magnus makes hug motions at him. Taako awkwardly folds his arms around Angus, patting his back tentatively. Angus heaves a sob and clings tighter. “It’s okay, it’s not your fault. Relics are like that. You stopped, we’re all okay. You did good. I - I’m proud of you, pumpkin.”

Magnus kneels down beside them and pulls both of them into a hug. “We’re the ones who should be sorry, Angus, we didn’t realize you were so upset. You’re family, we don’t want to lose you.”

Merle reaches out and awkwardly puts a hand on Angus’ shoulder before Magnus reaches out and drags him into the hug too. He only gives a token grumble before subsiding. “Yeah, don’t scare us like that, alright?”

Angus sniffles loudly and nods, but he doesn’t seem inclined to move for a long while. Eventually, though, he detaches himself enough to wipe his eyes.  Magnus ruffles his hair, earning a watery smile.

Taako pats Angus’ shoulder. “When we’re done here, we’re going shopping. That was almost a disaster.”

“Huh?” Angus frowns at him.

“This!” Taako gestures to Angus’ wand. “Listen, ideally you won’t go evil again, but if you do, I’m not going to be the guy whose evil apprentice waves around a bargain-bin wand. There are standards! I have a reputation to uphold!” Belatedly he realizes that five minutes might have been a _little_ too soon for the joke as Angus stares at him, but then he laughs.

“Okay, sir. I guess I’ll try not to make you look bad.”

“Please, as if you could. Alright, now that we’ve all had our dramatic action-packed climax to the day, I think it’s time to grab that stupid, tacky necklace, call a balloon, and go home.” Taako climbs back to his feet.

Angus goes to stand up too, but Magnus catches him and scoops him effortlessly off the floor, plopping him onto his shoulders. “Nope, the boy wonder’s getting a ride,” he announces, grinning as Angus giggles. Merle rolls his eyes, but he’s smiling as he goes to collect the dropped weapons littering the floor.

Taako snags the Umbra Staff on his way as he heads back for the Amulet. When he picks it up it begins to whisper, _look what that child could do with me, imagine what a great wizard like you could accomplish, with just-_

“Oh shut the fuck up,” he snaps, and stuffs it into his pack.

**Author's Note:**

> tfw your little brother goes evil because he thinks you don't love him
> 
> Also trying to make a relic is hard, and I only needed it to set up a few thousand words. Kudos to Griffin for making seven that all cause entire subplots, plus the main plot.


End file.
